Listening

I know it’s cold out there for so many people, so I hope everyone is staying warm. We are, with our daily rituals- me, starting every morning getting firewood for both of our fireplaces, all sustainably harvest from the tan oak trees that fill these forests, so they can make room for more redwoods to be planted. I use it as my time to say a prayer, center my thoughts. How can I live in harmony with the world around us? How can I take care of myself first, so I can be there for others? What does strength look like really, when it’s stripped of all the power to control, to be an authority, and is replaced with tenderness and caring? And, when is enough enough? For me, I know it’s been about caring for my body. Working out, eating, and finding moments of peaceful calm. Sometimes it’s prayer and meditations at the fire, other times it’s seeing old friends from Kansas City on our zoom yoga classes, or playing music with Ashley, and just holding eachother after, or taking a bath outside on our deck, in the redwood forest, with only the birds and the foxes and the bubbling creek keeping us company. But I can’t find the strength the be the man I want to be, the person I want to be, who is patient and caring and considerate without hearing my body first, and really, really listening